Saturday, December 27, 2008

Christmas Part 6...

Well, we just got back from Uncle Tony's house. It was a nice visit in my humble opinion. Uncle Tony brought Pizza Hut pizza and wings and Lisa came by with little miss Bailey. She's quite the ham! She let me hold her and play with her for quite a while, so that was nice. Everyone was very taken with her "aquadoodle" toy.

Aunt Dianne gave us a "Clean Cotton" yankee candle & some Bath and Body Works stuff. I'll pass the B&B stuff to Mandy, because I'm allergic to fragrances, but that's ok with me. We love candles though! Darn sensitive's a really yummy B&B smell!

Mom, Dad, and Tim are all watching a Jackie Chan & Jet Li movie and Mom is making hot wings. I'll go out when the wings are done, I guess. I just wanted to get a minute to blog.

Lisa started in with the whole "take a break and don't worry about it thing" then she got into the whole "age" thing. I've been getting treatment since my second cycle went over 100 days. The charting & timing has helped us to better understand my body & what's going on. The problem is my body ISN'T working properly & is unpredictable! "Normal" women have regular cycles & ovulate at a regular point in their cycle...their temperatures rarely vary by more than .2 of a degree! My temps are ALL OVER THE PLACE! I'm following a "normal" pattern this month...but not normal for me. My temps went so high I thought FOR SURE I was pregnant...just to turn out that nope...not preggo....just my body actually working this month. Fun stuff.

I hate it when other people bring up the fact that we're trying and then I have to talk about it. I do NOT want to talk about this to others. Especially others who don't UNDERSTAND. I don't mind talking about it on my blog or on Ovusoft or on the Diaperswappers TTC thread. I don't mind talking about it with Melanie (who helps and understands what I need/want to hear) or Ms. Clark (whose been there, done that, and had a baby). I do not want to talk about it with anyone who shares the "just take it easy" mentality. NOT charting & NOT paying attention to my body & NOT timing intercourse are NOT the way for me to get a baby. My chances are already SO slim (PCOS limits the odds, as well as the irregular cycles) that I can't AFFORD not to worry about it. If I just go willy nilly & don't pay attention to anything we could be BDing at all the wrong times & never get pregnant. Not to mention that I wouldn't have any data to share with the doctor, which means we'd have to spend tons of money for expensive tests that my insurance doesn't cover. Because I CHART we know WHEN & that I DO ovulate. Other people have to have tests, bloodwork, and ultrasounds done to confirm that. I COULD do those tests, but I can't afford to so I don't. My doctor & I TRUST my chart and use that information in treating my infertility.

I began looking into adopton agencies last night. It looks like we should be able to adopt for less than $10,000. I don't know what the wait/time span is for domestic infant adoption but if we at least start the process that would make me feel better. I'm going to try talking to Tim about it in March. I want to give myself 2 more months. I am hoping that we can get pregnant in Jan. or Feb. We might take March off, just to avoid the December due date. Although, I really want a 2009 baby....and after March we're looking at a 2010 baby.

Anyway, I think the wings are done, so I've got to go.

1 comment:

Smellyann said...

Oh, Steph. This made me weepy for you. You are doing the right thing, some people just DON"T understand how hard it can be. Regular people being able to have babies, with all the adversities, is a miracle in and of itself. Throw in fertility issues and it's ridiculous. I honestly think you will get pregnant and have a baby, though. I will pray for you and for patience, hope and clarity. (((((HUGS)))))