There's been a bit of a hoopla on the inter-webs today about a picture that made its way onto Facebook.
I liked the picture when it came across my news-feed and then I didn't think any more of it. Until it popped up on Diaperswappers (and let the drama begin) and then on my Google reader on a blog that I happen to adore. It seems that the mama behind, Live with Levi, re-posted the picture on Facebook and got a huge debate started on her wall. Now, there has been an official "update" from the creators of the picture at Granolababies.com.
I am VERY passionate about several parenting issues.
Circumcision is one of them. I was ignorant (to a point) about circumcision when Luke was born and let Tim "win" that argument. After what Luke went through we both swore we would NOT circumcise any more boys. Then I got pregnant with Vinnie and had SO much angst because Tim was wanting to go back on his promise. I finally poured it out to him that I could NOT LIVE WITH MYSELF if I went and circumcised Vinnie and he agreed that if meant that much to me, we wouldn't do it. So, I am on one of those moms with one boy who is and one who isn't....I can see both sides of the fence. What I cannot see, is KNOWING that it is wrong and not in any way customary anymore, and still doing it. I will attempt to educate and change your mind as best as I can until the deed is done...but if you still choose to circumcise your baby boy, guess what, most likely it won't be a deal breaker and we'll still be friends. Ultimately, past actions can't be changed, especially this one, and if I otherwise like you as a person, I'll still like you after this. So, while I do have some "judgement" of those that circumcise their children, I am still very tolerant and not obnoxious or rude.
I am also passionate about breastfeeding, co-sleeping, extended rear-facing, and all of the facets of attachment parenting. These things make up who I am as a mom. They are all things that I believe directly impact who my children will grow up to become. Nursing your babies is such an awesome thing and I think EVERYBODY should at least try. I do know that it isn't for everybody though, heck, lots of the time I don't like it! (GASP!) Yes, there are times, almost 3 years into it, that I wish even for just one day, that my boobs were mine! Co-sleeping (not using CIO ever) is also important to me, I don't think babies or toddlers should be made to fall asleep alone or cry themselves to sleep. The things it does to their hormones and trust in their parents can only be negative. There are days where I wish I could just tell Luke to go to bed and then relax myself. Its on those days that I remind myself, before too long, he'll be a big boy and snuggling with his Mommy (or Daddy) won't be cool and I'll miss his sticky little hands getting tangled in my hair as they are wrapped around my neck. Extended rear-facing just makes sense to me and I want others to realize that it is a financial possibility that could save their children's lives. I am disappointed and saddened when friends choose to forward face their kids, especially if the seat they already own could rear-face, but it isn't a deal breaker for me. As an attachment parent, I pretty much prescribe to all methods of gentle parenting and I wish that every baby and child could be parented with respect and dignity However, these are the choices I have made for MY kids, for my family, the choices that others make regarding these issues DO NOT EFFECT me or my kids at all. So, who am I to judge? I'm not perfect and I don't claim to be.
Luke has gotten "spankings"--swats on the butt when he doesn't behave. Its an extreme, last resort measure, but sometimes he just won't listen. This goes against EVERYTHING AP/Gentle discipline, but, I'm not perfect. I'd love to say I've raised my kids without every disciplining them physically, but I just can't. I was raised to get a "good butt whooping" every now & then when needed and I turned out okay.
Luke is the world's PICKIEST eater. And we cater to it. I am a picky eater. I hate being made to eat things I don't like. So, I don't force my kids to eat things they don't like either.
Luke is circumcised, Vinnie is not. If it ever becomes an issue, we'll have to explain to Luke that we knew some of the facts but didn't realize all that it involved and we are sorry we made that decision for him. Hopefully, it doesn't cause any kind of rift between the boys.
I have let both boys cry, a few times. I hate it, but there have been times in both boys' lives, that their crying or fit throwing, or refusal to sleep was just too much for me to bear and I would leave them in a safe place and walk away for a few minutes. (normally the crib) To go pee, get a drink, calm down for just a minute so I could be the mom I wanted to be. Their tears break my heart, but I know they forgive me when they are so happy to see me when I get back.
I spend time on my computer in the morning, and when I get a few minutes of quiet time throughout the day. The boys aren't ignored and are safe. Facebook is my doorway to my friends....without the support groups I have on Facebook and Diaperswappers, I'd be a lonely, stressed out mess. Reconnecting with women who love me for who I am, no matter what, helps me be a good Mommy.
I sneak the things the boys are allergic to, even though I know it effects them through my milk. I can't make myself commit to a 100% corn, dairy, & soy free life.
But, like I'm sure most moms out there do, I try my best.
I spend time with them each day, loving them, snuggling them, tickling them. I kiss their boo-boos and play pretend games that make no sense whatsoever.
I pour myself into making their lives happy and whole. They know they are loved.
I try. I don't always succeed, but I'm human, and nobody should expect me to be perfect. I certainly can't expect anybody else to be either.
So, I hope, we can all just GET ALONG. Its okay to disagree. Really, it is. But, be respectful. Don't bash someone else just to make yourself feel better. I like the gist of what the GranolaBabies folks quotes---you'll get a lot further with honey than with vinegar. So, lets all play nice.
